Laumalie Fakasisipeli ‘i he Famili – Konga 2 (Jezebel Spirit#16)

Folofola: 1 Tu’i 18 – 1 Tu’i 22

Fa’u ‘e Linda Tu’ulakitau

Ko e me’a ‘oku ou fakatokanga’i he relationship ‘a Sisipeli mo ‘Ehapii na’e malohi ange ‘a Sisipeli ‘i he’ena tu’u ‘i hona familii pea na’a ne to e malohi ange he religion na’a ne kau ki aii ‘a ia na’e lotu kia Peali. Pea na’a ne to e influence hono huspanitii ‘a ‘Ehapi ke ne muimui mo ia ki he lotu Pealii. Talamai ‘e he Folofolaa ‘ia 1 Tu’i 16:31-33 – “…he also married Jezebel daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and began to serve Baal and worship him. 32 He set up an altar for Baal in the temple of Baal that he built in Samaria. 33 Ahab also made an Asherah pole and did more to arouse the anger of the Lord, the God of Israel, than did all the kings of Israel before him.”

‘Oku ou fakatokanga’i ‘i he’eku tupu hake ‘i Tongaa, ko e taimi koee ‘oku mali ai ha fefine Tonga, ‘oku ‘ikai ngata he liliu hono hingoaa (fakaikuu) ‘one adopt ‘a e fakaiku hono husepanitii, ka ‘oku ne to e hiki mei he fale ‘ene tamaii ki he fale hono husepanitii, pea ‘ikai ngata aii, ka ‘oku ne to e mavahe foki mei he kolo na’a ne tupu aii ki he kolo hono husepanitii. Pea ‘ikai ngata aii, ka ‘oku ne to e mavahe foki mei he Siasi na’a ne kau ki aii ‘o ne kau ki he Siasi pe ko e tui ‘oku kau ki ai hono husepanitii. Pea a’u ki he fanau’i mai ‘ena fanauu ‘oku nau adopt kotoa pe ‘a e surname ‘o e tamaii ‘o ‘ikai ko e fa’ee. Neongo ‘oku ‘ikai ke pehee ‘a e ngaahi mali kotoa pe, ka ko e majority ia ‘oku nau muimui ki he me’a ko ‘enii. Pea ‘oku ou tui ko hono ‘uhingaa ke fakamahino pe ko e tangataa ko ia ‘a e ‘ulu ‘o e fefinee. Pea ko e fokotu’utu’u ia koee ‘oku fakatohitapuu (biblical) pe ‘oku faka’Otuaa (divine). He ‘oku talamai ‘e 1 Kolinitoo 11:3 ko e ‘ulu (head) ‘o e tangataa ko Kalaisi, pea ko e ‘ulu ‘o e fefinee ko e tangataa pea ko e ‘ulu ‘o Kalaisii ko e Tamaii (‘Otuaa). 1 Corinthians 11:3, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” Ko e fa’unga faka’Otua ‘eni koee ‘oku totonu ke lele ai ‘a e familii.

Ka na’e kehe ‘a e famili ia ‘o Sisipeli mo ‘Ehapii. ‘Oku mahino kiate au ia he’eku lau ‘a e Folofolaa ko Sisipeli ia na’e taki pe ‘ulu hona familii. Neongo ko ‘Ehapi ‘a e mafai totonuu he ko e Tu’i ia ‘o ‘Isilelii, ka ‘i he’ene nofo fakafamilii na’a ne fakavaivai ia kia Sisipeli. Pea ko Sisipeli leva ia ‘a e real power behind the throne.

Ko ‘ena malii pe ko ‘ena nofo familii na’e ‘ikai ke faka’Otua pe fakafolofola (biblical). He ‘oku talamai ‘e he Folofolaa, ko e tu’unga (place) totonu ‘o e uaifii ‘oku under ‘i hono husepanitii. Ko hono husepanitii ‘a hono ‘uluu. Pea ko ‘ene fakatohitapu (biblical) ‘a e nofo malii ke under ‘a e uaifii he leadership (taki ‘a hono husepanitii, tautautefito ki he tafa’aki fakalaumaliee (spiritual realm). Neongo pe koehaa ‘a e fa’ahinga tukunga ‘oku tau ‘i aii ‘i hotau fanga ki’i famili takitaha, ka ko ‘ene taimi pe koee ‘oku ‘alu hake ai ‘a e uaifii ia ke ne taki fakalaumalie ‘i he familii, kuo ne ‘osi stepped out from under her head ‘a ia ko hono husepanitii. ‘Oku ou tui au ko e kakai fefine koee ‘oku kei hee honau husepanitii ‘o te’eki kau ia ki he lotuu, ‘oku totonu kenau lotu’i honau husepanitii ke ma’u honau fakamo’uii pea nau kau ki he lotuu. Koe’uhii ka ne lava ‘o step up ki hono ui faka’Otua mo fakatohitapu ke ne hoko ko e ‘ulu hono uaifii pea ko e taki fakalaumalie ia ki hono uaifii mo ‘ena fanauu ‘i ‘api. He ko e taimi koee ‘oku kei hee ai e mo’ui ‘a e husepanitii ‘i mamanii, ‘oku ne neglect leva ‘a hono tu’unga faka’Otua ko e taki fakalaumalie mo e taula’eiki ia ki hono ki’i familii.

‘Oku ‘i ai e kakai fefine ‘e ni’ihi koe’uhii ko e ‘ikai kau honau hoaa he lotuu, ‘oku nau dominate e familii pea nau ‘osi to’o fakamalohi e tu’unga takii koe’uhii ko ‘enau pehee ko kinautolu ia ‘a e taki fakalaumalie ‘o e familii ‘o kau ai mo e husepanitii kuopau ke ne fakaongoongo mo ia. Pea neongo ‘ene lotuu mo ‘ene malanga’i malohi hono husepanitii mo ‘ene nag he ‘aho mo e po ke fai aa mo liliu ‘o tali ‘a Sisu, ka ‘oku ‘ikai pe liliu e husepanitii ia. ‘Oku to e fakautuutu ange ‘ene ta’elotuu ‘ana. Ka koehaa nai hono ‘uhingaa? Koe’uhii ko e ta’efietukulolo mo fakavaivai ‘a e uaifii. ‘O ‘ikai ‘uhinga ia ke fakavaivai ki hono husepanitii kena oo ‘o fai ha me’a kovi ‘oku ‘ikai finangalo ki ai ‘a e ‘Otuaa. Ka ko ‘ene fakavaivai ‘i he’ene fakahaa’i ki hono husepaniti ‘oku kei molee ‘a e ‘Eiki ‘oku ne tauhi ki aii ‘i he’ene to’onga mo’uii ‘i ‘api. Pea koe’uhii ko ‘ene talangofua ki he Folofolaa he ‘oku talamai ‘e 1 Pita 3:1: “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives”. ‘Oku ‘ikai fa’a win over ‘a e husepanitii ‘aki ‘a e leaa mo e lauu mo e tafuluu mo e tangii, ka ‘oku nau win over ‘o hoko ko e kakai tui ki he ‘Eiki ko Sisu Kalaisii koe’uhii pe ko e ‘ulungaanga ‘o honau uaifii. He ko ‘ene ‘alu fakataha koee ‘a e fefine ‘oku mo’ui fa’a lotu ‘o hufia hono husepanitii ‘alu fakataha mo ‘ene ‘ulungaanga lelei ki hono husepanitii ‘i ‘apii, pea ‘oku talamai ‘e he Folofolaa ‘e win over without words ‘a e husepanitii ‘aki pe ‘a e ‘ulungaanga ‘o hono uaifii. Neongo ‘e pehee mai ‘e ha fefine ‘oku te’eki ai ke ke ‘ilo’i ‘e koe hoku husepanitii, ko e ta’u ‘eni ‘e fiha ‘ema fetakai ‘oku te’eki ai pe lotu ia. Let me tell you he ‘aho ni, ‘oku ‘ikai ke ‘i ai ha me’a ‘e taha ‘e ta’emalava ‘e he ‘Otuaa. I strongly believe ‘oku ‘i ai ‘a e power he lotuu ke ne liliu ha fa’ahinga tukunga pe ‘o e mo’uii. Pea ‘oku ‘i ai ‘a e power he lotuu ke ne transform lives…ha fa’ahinga mo’ui pee tatau ‘ene kovi ‘o tau ki fee.

Ko e me’a ‘e taha na’a ku fakatokanga’i mei he talanoa ‘o Sisipeli mo ‘Ehapii, ko ‘Ehapii na’e ‘ikai ke stable ‘ene mo’uii ka na’e ‘i ai ‘a e fa’ahinga tendency ai ke holomui, na’a ne tukuange ‘e ia hono tu’unga fakatakii kia Sisipeli. ‘Oku ou tui ko Sisipelii ko e fefine na’e anga malohi. Pea ko Ehapii na’e hangee kuo ‘osi li taueli ia he fetakai mo hono uaifii pea lakaange ki ai ke holomui pe ia ki mui kae tukuange hono uaifii ke ha’u ia ‘o tu’u he dominant role he familii mo e religion mo e fonuaa.

‘Ikai ko e me’a ia ‘oku hoko he ngaahi ‘aho ni ‘i hotau kuongaa, kuo feinga ‘a e kakai fefine ‘e ni’ihi kenau teke’i e kakai tangataa mei honau tu’unga taki he familii, he Siasii, he ngaahi corporations, he fonuaa, he pule’angaa. Koe’uhii he ko e kuonga ‘eni ‘o e feminism ‘a e feinga ‘a e kakai fefinee kenau tatau pe mo e kakai tangataa he me’a kotoa pe (equality). But what is so sad, ko e to e feinga ‘a e kakai fefinee ia kenau ma’u ‘a e POWER he me’a kotoa pe. Pea koehaa e me’a ‘oku hoko ki he familii, mo e Siasii, mo e ngaahi kautahaa, mo e fonuaa/pule’angaa he taimi koee ‘oku feinga ai ‘a e kakai fefine ‘e ni’ihi kenau ma’u ‘a e power pe ko e mafaii. Ko e me’a koee ‘oku hokoo ko ‘ene ma’u pe ‘e he fefinee ‘a e power, kuo powerless leva ‘a e tangataa. Ko ‘ene in control pe ‘a e uaifii he familii, kuo powerless leva ‘a e husepanitii ia. Ko ‘ene in power pe ha fefine he Siasii kuo powerless leva ‘a e kakai tangataa ia he Siasii. Pea ‘oku pehee pe mo e fonuaa mo e pule’angaa.

Ka teu nofo pe ‘eku article ‘i he familii. Ko ‘ene taimi pe ‘a e ‘alu hake ‘a e uaifii ‘o taki he familii, ko e me’a pe ‘e ua ‘oku fai ‘e he husepanitii, ko ‘ene fuhu’i ‘ene totonu faka’Otua ko e ‘ulu ki hono uaifii, pe ko ‘ene holomui kimui ‘o hangee ko Ehapii pea ne turn a blind eye ki he me’a ‘oku fai ‘e hono uaifii koe’uhii ko ‘ene ‘ilo’i he’ikai ke ne lava’i ‘e ia he ko e fefine anga malohi ‘aupito ‘o hangee pe ko Sisipelii. Pea ko ‘ene fiepoto’i pe koee ‘e he uaifii ‘a e tu’unga faka’Otua kuo ‘osi ‘omai pe ia ‘e he ‘Otuaa ke lele ai ‘a e familii, she’s no longer in God’s will! Pea ‘oku ne fai tau leva pea mo e ‘Otuaa.

Ko e kakai tangata koee ‘oku force kinautolu into spiritual subjection ki honau ngaahi uaifii, ‘oku nau loto mamahi, ‘ita pea nau holomui (retreat) ‘o hangee ko Ehapii. Pea ‘oku ne uesia ‘enau nofo malii he ‘oku mole leva ‘a e ‘ofaa mo e faka’apa’apaa mei he husepanitii mo e uaifii. ‘Oku ongo’i ‘e he husepanitii ‘oku bitterness ki hono uaifii koe’uhii ko ‘ene fa’oa fakamalohi ‘e ia ‘a e tu’unga faka’Otua na’e ‘osi designate pe ia ‘e he ‘Otuaa ke tu’u ai ‘a e husepanitii he familii. Pea ‘oku mole leva mei he uaifii ia ‘a e faka’apa’apa ki hono husepanitii. Pea ko e kakai fefine koee ‘oku nau to e take over mo e role fakataki honau husepanitii he familii he’ikai kenau ma’u ‘enautolu ‘a e support honau husepanitii. He ko ‘ene ‘au hake pe ‘a e uaifii ia ‘o hekeheka he sea fakataki ‘o e familii ‘o fai holo hono angi e familii, kuo ‘osi ‘otometiki pe ‘a e mole mei he husepanitii ia ‘a e fa’ahinga ongo fakanatula (natural drive) ke ne fua e ngaahi fatongia mo e kavenga fakafamilii. Ko e taimi ia ‘oku run ai ‘e he laumalie fakasisipelii e familii. Pea ko e hoko mai pe ‘a e fu’u laumalie fakatevolo ko ‘enii ke ne faka’auha e familii.

I sense kuo ‘osi hanga pe ‘e he ‘Eikii ‘o tuku ‘a e fa’ahinga potential fakatakii ki he husepanitii. ‘Oku ‘ilonga pe ‘a e taimi ‘oku nau taki ai ‘a e familii ‘oku lele maau, lele malohi (strong), pea ma’uma’uluta ‘a e familii koe’uhii ko ‘enau ngaahi faka’uto’uta ‘oku fai he familii. Ko e taimi koee ‘oku ‘ilo totonu ai ‘e he tangataa ‘a e faka’apa’apa mo e TRUST hono uaifii ‘oku ‘oange kakato kiate ia ki he’ene taki he familii, pea ‘oku nau to e ma’u ivi ange pea lele ‘i matangi ‘enau takii.

Pea ko e taimi koee ‘oku ‘ilo’i ai ‘e he uaifii hono tu’unga he familii pea ‘oku ne support hono husepanitii ko e taki hona ki’i familii, pea ‘oku ne langa’i leva ‘a e me’a ko e ‘ofa, mo e fietokoni mo e faka’apa’apa he husepanitii ki hono uaifii. Ka sio ‘oku fiekaia pe hela’ia ‘a e uaifii, ‘oku ne step in ‘o tokoni ki hono uaifii koe’uhii he neongo ko ia ko e ‘ulu he familii, ka ‘oku ne to e ‘ofa’i foki hono uaifii ‘o hangee pe ko e ‘ofa’i ‘e Kalaisi hono Siasii.

‘I he’eku a’usia fakafo’ituituii, na’a ku tupu hake au ‘i ha tamai na’e hoko ko e taki fakalaumalie ki homau ki’i familii pea na’e mahino pe kiate au talu mei he’eku kei si’i ko e taki mo e ‘ulu ia homau ki’i familii. Na’e ‘ikai ngata ‘eku ‘ofa lahi he’eku tamaii but I respected him a lot. Ka kuo ‘osi pekia ‘eku tangata’eikii he’eku kei ta’u 13, neongo na’e to’o ia he ‘Eikii he taimi na’a ku fu’u fiema’u ai ‘ene fatherly roles and direction ki he’eku mo’uii. Na’a ku ha’u ‘o ma’u familii, na’e ‘osi fili pe ‘e hoku lotoo ‘a e founga faka’Otuaa keu muimui ki ai ko e husepanitii pe ko e tamaii ko e ‘ulu ia ‘o e uaifii pea ko e taki fakalaumaliee ia he familii, pea ko e overall taki ia ‘o e familii. Pea talu ‘eku mali mo hoku hoaa ‘oku ‘ikai ke ‘i ai ha’ama palopalema he tafa’aki ko ‘enii because I respect my husband a lot and I have no problem ‘ene hoko ko hoku ‘ulu mo hoku taki fakalaumalie. And I believe, ko e taumu’a ia ‘a e ‘Eikii ki he’eku mo’uii ‘i he’eku hoko ko e uaifi ki hoku husepanitii na’a ne ‘omi au ko e helpmeet ‘o hoku husepanitii. Ko ia hoku ‘uluu, pea ko ‘eku me’a ‘oku ou faii ko ‘eku hoko ko e tokoni ofi kiate ia he me’a kotoa pe ‘oku ne fiema’u keu tokoni ai kiate ia. Pea kapau ko ‘eku tokonii involves working behind the scenes ke lava ‘a e ngaahi visone ‘oku tuku ‘e he ‘Eikii ‘i hono lotoo ke lele ai homa ki’i familii and our ministry, and I am willing to help him any way I can. ‘Oku ou tui na’e faka’ataa ‘e he ‘Eikii kema malii koe’uhii kema fetokoni’aki koe’uhii ke ma lava ‘o fakakakato ‘a e taumu’a mo e kaveinga na’e ‘omai ai kimaua ‘e he ‘Eikii ki he mamanii.

Malo ho’omou me’a maii, ka tau toki hoko atu he Falaite uike kaha’uu…God bless~

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